Look into my eyes. You will not be able to resist my charm or my devilishly handsome face. Let me introduce myself now you are under my spell. I am Cookie, a cheeky chappy wiv a nose for mischief and the biggest heart of gold you will ever come across.
I had a bit of a rough start to life and lived with some people who did not care for me much. I was a scrawny thing riddled with fleas and worms, and I had no furs on me belly or back legs. I used to resort to stealing dog food from the neighbours cos I was so hungry, and I took to sleeping in their washing to keep warm in the cold and damp nights. That was until I met me mum and dad, who started caring for me. They finally rescued me when I had an accident and almost lost my ear. I still not saying who did it but there was a ruckus and my ear got ripped badly. The vet said I would not have survived the infection without intervention.
Fast forward nearly 6 years and I never looked back. I’m a happy, healthy, much loved fella. I got more beds than Bensons, more toys than toys ‘r’ us, I can curl up on the big bed for cuddles at night and there is always a good meal to keep my belly full. I thank my humans every day by showering them in ‘kisses’. I loves kisses.
Now, sometimes kisses isn’t enough to show my gratitude. I a very generous boy, and like to make sure they know how grateful I am. I’m very good at making friends and, as all good boys do, I bring my new friends home to meet them. I was a bit bored one afternoon, so decided I needed a party. I went out to find some new friends to invite. I knew there was some feathered varieties round my usual haunt, so I headed off to go have a chat with them. Anyways, I managed to persuade one of them to come join me, and I chaperoned her to mine cos I’m a good boy and didnt want her to get lost on the way. I even carried her so she not have to walk all that way. Me and her decided to play hide and seek in the living room. When mum and dad came home, they found ‘Peggy the Pigeon’ hiding under the DVD rack. Dad said she had to go outside to play. It was only when dad escorted her to the garden that he realised it wasn’t actually Peggy, and in fact, it was ‘Charley the Chicken’. They freaked out not knowing what to do with her or where she come from. It wasnt like she could just fly away.
Once the shock wore off, they was actually very impressed with how strong and manly I was for carrying her from a few streets away, over a number of super high fences and in through our back window. Ooooh, by the way and just to clarify, she was unharmed and I not touch a feather on her. Like I said, I a very good boy. So mum did call the RSPCA, but they said Charley had to stay the night. So mum rustled up some dinner for her and made her a bed in the shed cos it was raining. Next day Charley went off to go stay with the RSPCA man.
Few weeks later when I broke my curfew, mum came out to look for me in my usual haunt. She got talking to a man who said I was a menace and was always stalking his chickens. It lies. Look at me. Does I look like a menace to you? I was just chatting to em. Anyway, that’s when mum found out he was Charley’s dad. So you can all be rest assured there was a happy ending and Charley went back home.
Sadly, I doesnt get to visit Charley anymore as we since moved house. But maybe I find myself a new friend soon.
You can contact Cookie via his Twitter page and see what else he gets up: Cooks (@MouseFaceMeow)