The human has turned down the radiators. What is the point of having radiators if you turn them down when it gets cold? They are not on for so long (especially when she’s at work) and they’re not as hot as they used to be. Looks like we are on an economy drive here at Tom Cat Towers!
My fur isn’t as good as keeping me warm as the other two feline residents here at Tom Cat Towers. Dumpty’s pelt is so silky and there is so much of it that she never feels the cold. She is constantly being groomed. Wills has short thick ginger fur which seems to insulate him, whereas I have very fine, thin fur which is lovely to look at and stroke, but it doesn’t keep me warm.
My human, feeling sorry for me bought a tiny little pink tee-shirt for me at the car boot. It cost 20p and I suspect that it belonged previously to a very small dog. The sort of silly designer pooch that gets covered in bling and lives in an expensive handbag.
The tee-shirt has on the back ‘Don’t mess with the Princess’ which the human finds highly amusing as she bends down to talk to me. When it was first put on me I just adored it!! It fits me perfectly and covers my back keeping out drafts. I trundle round the garden with it on. At night the human washes it, and then the next day when it’s dry, she puts it on me again.
I quite like this feline fashion. Dumpty has clothes too; a black ball gown with glittery bits and a pink anorak with the word ‘Precious’ written in little sparkly crystals on the back. Precious being the most apt word for that grey lump of useless fur with snotty attitude.
Ginger twerp rushes up to me in the morning when my tee-shirt is put on me and has a good sniff which I find incredibly rude. A swift smack on his nose hasn’t deterred him from this annoying habit.
After a good snooze on my sheepskin I awoke to see the funniest sight ever!! The human was trying to squeeze the ginger wussbag into my tiny little tee-shirt. He seemed to be enjoying himself. The human then placed him on the work surface in the kitchen next to a card with three daft looking grumpy ginger cats in jumpers, and took photos of him. He then sashayed round the garden as if on a catwalk, showing off the pink tee-shirt to the blackbirds. It was so small and he bulged out of it so badly he just looked ridiculous.
Even the cat at the bottom of the garden; Spike, who was sitting on the fence by the trees having a look at the sparrows who gather there, couldn’t believe his eyes at what a complete berk our ginger mincer is!
Willi’s version
The girl cats both have a designer wardrobe of cat-clothes. Dippi has been sporting a tee-shirt which comes down to her tail, keeping her back warm. She looks adorable in it as I follow her round supervising in case she gets it dirty.
Today my human got a Christmas card which her friend Magda sent to her. It had three very handsome ginger cats on it who are supposed to look like me!! Magda (who adores the very ground my paws walk upon and clearly has very good tastes in cats) thought how funny it would be if my human had 3 of me in life to cope with and just had to buy this card! (I personally think it would be a wonderful idea if I had come as a package of triplets. Three times the fun for my human).
I don’t think my human thought it was such a good idea.
The cats in the card had jumpers on and my human decided to make a card to send back to Magda with the original ginger hero (me!!) on it too. So I was scooped up and squeezed into Dippi’s tee-shirt while she was having a cat nap. I could hardly breathe in such a tiny garment. It barely covered my chest. My human stood back then nearly wet herself when she saw me sitting next to the Christmas card with a scowl of discomfort on my face. Photos were taken of me sitting next to the Christmas card. I must admit I did enjoy my stint as a male model with the perfect physique!
As my human looked at her photos to find the best one to send to Madga I went for a trot round the garden, showing off my new attire. Spike, who lives at the bottom of the garden, gave me looks of pure envy; he couldn’t believe his eyes at what a fine specimen I looked in the pink tee-shirt. I bet he wishes he had one.
When I made it back to the kitchen, the human got hold of me and with much tugging, especially over my ears, which got trapped, the tee-shirt was removed.
The Very Best Toy for Cats
"Of all the [cat] toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a noise when you jump on it."
Stephen Baker