Chapter 18: Let sleeping cats lie

There is something quite peculiar to the two senior cats of Tom Cat Towers. They lie on their backs, tummy upward and paws outstretched as they sleep. This is totally not normal behaviourfor cats.

They should sleep curled up but with one eye open, alert for any sign of danger so that they can leap, like coiled springs into action.

The ginger slug lies on his back on the carpet in the lounge. He extends his paws out at both ends so that he is stretched out to his full length, his head flops backward onto the carpet and his one good fang is exposed. He then nods off. In fact he is totally comatose after a few minutes. Then the snoring and wheezing starts. If a nasty rat was to attack him Wills would stand no chance. He is so dead to the world that the human has been known to place things on his tummy without him reacting in any way. I find this most odd. If fact one evening after a full bottle of red wine, she stood on a chair and flicked a whole pack of playing cards onto his tummy without him once flinching (Is that normal behaviourfor a human?)

Dumpty too lies on her back. She is so lazy that she sleeps most of the time anyway. But when she’s taken off the bed in order for sheets to be changed, she’s placed on a sheepskin rug and settled down so that the poor madam doesn’t have to stand upright on carpets or have to move by using her regal paws. She will immediately roll onto her back and go back to sleep. She has even been known to snore, which I’m sure she will deny, as that is so not a regal ladylike thing to do!

I find this sleeping on their back thing all most odd. It can’t be comfortable lying like that and not snuggled up tight like a fury ball.

So I thought I would try it. I had been sitting looking at the birds and felt a bit of a sleep coming on, so I lay down on the wicker chair and rolled onto my back. The thin fur on my tummy was exposed to the cold drafts and I shivered. I couldn’t see what was going on in the room around me. I could only see the ceiling, and it really wasn’t very comfortable at all. I was trying to close my eyes to see if I could sleep like this when ‘whooomf’ a wet nose ended on my exposed bottom and I leapt into the air, hissing and spitting as I tried to get a grip on what was happening, only to see the ginger twit collapsed in a most ungainly manner on the floor looking up at me. He had spooked me. So that was the end of that experiment.

Back to snoozles the normal way.

Willi’s version.

I love to sleep.

After I have sat on the carpet with my paws outstretched, when I start to feel dozy I will yawn then roll onto my back and stretch out then close my eyes and let the sunshine pour through the glass window and onto my tummy. It really is quite luxurious and I can really drift off for a good sleep. My human sometimes doesn’t see me in the middle of the carpet and has, on occasion tripped over me which soon brings me back to the land of the living as she shouts and curses at me.

I have sometimes woken up to find strange things on my tummy like pens, saucers, wine bottle corks and bags of crisps and I haven’t a clue how they got there.

I saw Dippi doing something odd today. She had been sitting on the wicker chair looking out into the garden. Next thing she’s on her back, very still. She has never done this before and it filled me with an almighty panic.

As personal attendant, I thought that I had failed in my duty and that she had died whilst on my watch. I leapt into action and flung myself across the room hoping to land on the chair with her to see if I could resuscitate her. However I miscalculated my jump and landed with my nose on her bottom and she wasn’t very pleased as I fell back onto the floor.

At least she’s alive. What would I do without her to fill my days looking after her?