Chapter 23: Depressed Dumpty is given her own pet blackbirds

When Dumpty, the complete fluff ball, arrived at Tom Cat Towers, she was in a very sad state apparently. Her life had been quite a tragic one ands she was quite traumatised 

My human who is very good and very patient with cats realised that she needed something to help  break her depression and stop her lying around feeling sorry for herself.

She showed Dumpty the blackbirds that live at Tom Cat Towers. There are about twenty of them. It took a while to get Dumpty to show an interest, basically because she is a bimbo with nothing but fluff between her ears. The human would sit with Dumpty by the French windows as the blackbirds came up to the brick placed  by the window to elevate the birds to Dumpty's eye level, to feast on cat kibbles.

At first, Dumpty who was still very sad would just slope off, ears back and go back to bed. Over time, as the human sat by her talking to her, she started to take an interest in blackbirds and then she claimed them as her own. She then would sit for hours by the window as the birds slowly got used to the sight of Dumpty an inch the other side of the glass. During warm days, the human would open the window, a little bit at first, then the gap got bigger and bigger as it became clear that Dumpty wasn’t going to attack the blackbirds. In fact Dumpty snot pants began to view them as her own ‘Royal collection of blackbirds’.

The human began to make a little nest by the window in order for madam to snuggle in as she wiled away the time looking at her birds in case the cool breeze ruffled her regal fur. When it was cold at the end of the day, the human would snuggle her up in a blanket to keep her warm.

After some months, Dumpty would occasionally jump down from the bed and go to look at her birds, although if she could get the human to carry her, then she was more than happy with the arrangement. Lazy girl.

The human started to buy raisins to put on the brick and scatter on the patio and the birds got closer, Dumpty would close her eyes as she drew in their scent. They then started to bring their baby birds down and Dumpty would look on fascinated. It never occurred to her to lunge at them or kill them. They were her new hobby. If I went and sat by her, she would glare at me is disgust and then stalk off back to bed.

If the human saw me clopping my way towards where Dumpty was sitting, I would be scooped up and removed very swiftly in case I upset her snottiness.

The blackbirds were Dumpty’s pets. I can’t be bothered with such things. When I was living wild I never caught one and I don’t need to start now, especially as I now have cheap-crap tigers on demand although I still like a good cobweb to round a meal off nicely!

Willi's version

It was unbelievable that when she first arrived, the grey floozy pants was carried each day to the French windows to ‘look at blackbirds’ to cheer her up.

A rufty-tufty sort of cat like myself would be outside giving chase … Blackbirds are fair game and very delicious. Each time I lunged at one, my human would knock the window at me, and ruin the fun. The patio was flooded with blackbirds as she fed them so that Dumpty could watch them. More and more came. It was like a runway watching them all line up to land on a brick by the window that was constantly topped up with cat kibbles. The patio should have been a killing field for the blackbirds, but I’m getting a bit too creaky these days and they are just a bit too quick to fly up into the Leylandii trees making such a squawking racket as they go.