Chapter 28: Kibble wars

The world is even whiter than before! White stuff is everywhere as it falls silently from the sky in heavier and heavier dollops.

It’s all over the trees, the shed, I can't see the pond. In fact everywhere it touches the white stuff settles. It’s very pretty as it glitters and glints in the weak sunshine.

The human is in bed imitating a dog. She’s barking all day and all night. I’m amazed that Dumpty gets any sleep with all the noise. The bin of cheap crap tigers is getting lower and lower, I worry it may run out and we’ll starve. The human has made no effort to go out in the car and stock up, she just barks all day long, she has a red nose and is basically a snot factory - very attractive!.  In fact very few cars have been up and down the road and very few ambulances have been traversing ‘Ambulance Alley’ with all this white stuff around.

Wills decide to jump on the bed where Dumpty and the human were cuddling up. The human was feeling sorry for itself, and was giving Dumpty special attention, hand feeding her up her own ‘Bottomness’ with very expensive cat kibbles that Willi isn’t allowed near.  He drools when he sees Dumpty’s posh kibbles, but he has been known to snork them all up in one go, and then be sick if he comes across them which apparently is a waste of good money. The posh kibbles are now firmly sealed in an empty Estee Lauder Special Collection talcum pot which is kept in the bedroom. I suspect greed was his main aim in trying to get onto the bed. Which is surprising as he has his own kibbles ’Cheap & cheerful cat chow’ which are purchased by the kilo as gut-truck has a bottomless tummy.

Quantity over quality has always been his motto!

Anyway he didn’t get anywhere near  the posh kibbles as the human immediately scufted him off the bed then shut him out of the bedroom, not wanting to upset the regal bag of grey furry nerves. Wills does have a rather rude habit of trying to stick his cold nose up Dumpty’s bottom which drives the human, and Dumpty mad!!

The supplies of human food in Tom Cat Towers are running low, although I see the whisky cupboard, another of the human’s indulgences, is still quite full.

And still the white stuff falls from the sky.  The blackbirds are almost queuing up at the French window, desperate for kibbles, they are so cold. There are blackbirds that roll up quite regularly, including Hoppy, who has a broken leg. She has been round for years and is Dumpty’s favourite. Not that her regal snootiness has ventured off the bed in this cold.

I sit by the window; we haven’t seen the sun for weeks. It has been a long hard winter. I’m so glad I have a home. If I was still out in the wild, I don’t think I’d have survived this.

We are on an economy drive here at Tom Cat Towers as there is something called a credit-crunch going on. The radiators aren’t on as hot as they were before Christmas and the human has quite a comical collection of old jumpers and socks which she piles on as an antidote to the cold. I have a feeling some of the more exotic jumpers will end up in Willi’s snoozzee as casts off when spring eventually arrives.

The sky goes really black and great blizzards of white stuff swirl down and build up the layers that are already on the ground. Wills goes out in it. Well not so much goes out as is thrown out. He hates the cold white stuff on his paws, and skips frantically and panics to come back in again, mewling pathetically at the door.  If he isn’t let in he sits on the patio with a scowl on his face, staring in at the human who is cuddled up on the chair trying hard to ignore him.

I quite like going out. I skitter along through the garden just having fun. It’s just brilliant. I get little clumps of white stuff which cling like little balls to the fur on my tummy, then turn into drops of water when I get back inside for a snuggle with my human,

Willi’s version

The world is very cold and filled with white snow. It just keeps on coming. Supplies are getting low so I have to ensure I’m first at the food station when food is doled out. I have to maintain my weight. As professional carer to Dippi, I must ensure I am in the prime of health to carry out my duties.

The human has been lazing in bed, coughing and spluttering, where I know that very fancy kibbles are kept in an old plastic Estee Clawder talcum powder drum by the bed so the human can hand feed them to the grey floozy pants if she gets an attack of the munchies. I just ADORE these kibbles, they are just DELISH!

But somehow Dumpty is not very keen to share. She lays on the bed and the human drops them one by one into her regal chops.  I thought I would hone my cupboard love skills by jumping onto the bed, whiskers bristling with love and a roguish purr playing about my mouth in the hope the human would assume I was there to proclaim my undying love and divert a few kibbles my way in gratitude.

It didn’t work. I was hoicked off the bed, out of the bedroom and the door firmly shut. No good looking to Dippi for support, she hates kibbles.