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Gabes aka Captain BuggernutsIt's been all hush hush and secret squirrels here at Tom Cat Towers. Things have been happening 'on the horizon' and 'on a need to know' basis. Glad it's not December as I'm sure Secret Santa would be dragged in to this whispering conspiracy too!! Walls have ears and all that!

Since we lost Dumpty in February, my human has been sad. I've been sad, Chav Cat has just been her normal bullying self. However, I think that she is sad too. But Tom Cat Towers is soooo empty and quiet without her royal pantaloons demanding high levels of service from her 'Maid'.  Maid has been twiddling her thumbs and is soooo unhappy. We thought it may be a good idea to offer a home to a cat looking for a new home. So, Maid jumped to it and uploaded her CV to T’internetweb-thingie not expecting a great response.  Until today ………

I can tell you that it’s been like a very intensive United Nations / dating agency. Phone calls first thing, then Emails sent between both parties. Photos of 'said cat' under discussion were received then photos of Tom Cat Towers and its facilities returned. Dietary requirements discussed. Social behaviour (mainly mine, and how stupid I can be with my utter lack of social skills!) chewed over. Grooming and social requirements are paramount.
 
A first date was arranged. The 'said cat' will be bought under escort from quite a distance to Tom Cat Towers for an interview with his owner and Maid present. Then he will be taken home whilst decisions on both sides are made. If Maid is successful in her interview and application, he will be neutered.

 (WHAT!!!!!  What kind of a first date requirement is that?   .... Has he agreed to that?! ... Does he know?!!!)

Then, when everything is perfect, and all preparations have been made, he will make his supervised smooth move into Tom Cat Towers. Maid will put on her uniform again and dance full time attendance upon him, and he will be company for me as I miss snuggling up to Dumpty.

During the interview, tea will be taken whilst probing questions on both sides are addressed. I have been told in no uncertain terms, that I will be secured in the bedroom and Chav Cat will be hoicked outside so that we do not meet the potential 'said cat'.

I have secretly riffled through the paperwork and photos whilst Maid is now racing round ensuring that TCT is in tip top condition for this cat convention, and I have found just one picture of him.

All I can glean is that this cat is beyond royalty. We thought Dumpty was regal, but this chap is in a different league altogether. He is a cat with a lineage that makes the Queen's corgis look like rough mutts. His pedigree almost made Maid faint when she realised her CV was being considered. He is currently in active service, possibly secret service, and is about to retire so he now needs a suitable accommodation in 'Civvie Street' where he can live out the rest of his days in ultra-pampered luxury, away from the public glare and Maid is considered appropriate for this Posh Paws, as she was trained by the very best - Dumpty.

I cannot reveal his name for fear of losing my whiskers, but he is well known on the Internet. If Tom Cat Towers is to be the home for his retirement, then his name will be immediately changed to keep his previous life and service confidential and his previous owners will be continually updated on his progress. Maid even mentioned that 'said cat', if he felt up to it during his retirement, when he will have time on his paws, may wish to write something for TDM. That looks like a cert, she will become his P.A!!

I'll keep you updated as soon any new info floods in.

Ssssshhhhh, don't tell a soul,  no-one is supposed to know, but I'm getting so excited!!

Gabion Tzchugge
Tom Cat Towers

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