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Gabion is a failed stud cat.

When he was a little kitten, he had been reserved by a breeder up North to make beautiful kittens as he has quite a good pedigree. However, when he was viewed, he was rejected as being too skitty. I think what they meant was ‘too precious and a diva’! Gabes shared a run with a tiny girl kitten, but he was absolutely petrified of her, and sat as far away from her as possible. Ears back, looking sideways at her in case she moved nearer. Making desperately sad eyes at our human when she visited. She fell in love with him and bought him to Tom Cat Towers as no-one else wanted him

Gabion is a failed stud cat and an idiot.

Our human had no idea that she had adopted an idiot. Gabes has nothing between his ears. He has no social skills, does stupid things, has no sense of direction, gets lost, doesn’t remember where he lives, lies stretched out on really hot radiators. Takes his toys into the kitchen, lines them up at his feeding station to be fed, or gently places them in his water bowl, as if teaching them to swim. Every night. He does this every night. He bites things; a designer handbag, brand new, unused. Wires, shoes, humans, whatever. Gabes likes biting things. Walks past mirrors and is scared of the cat looking back at him. After a thousand times, you would have thought it would be sinking in by now that it’s himself looking back. But no. Every time, same reaction.

Gabion is a failed stud cat, an idiot and a wuss.

Gabes is terrified of the Dyson. If a hand touches the cupboard door knob where Dyson lives Gabes is off like a shot to spend the rest of the day under the bed, tentatively coming out in the evening when he thinks the coast is clear.

Gabion is a failed stud cat, an idiot, a wuss and is in love.

A black kitten moved into the house at the bottom of the garden and has grown into the most beautiful shiny black cat with gloriously cheeky eyes. Gabion is besotted and watches her from behind the blinds. She tears round our garden terrorising the birds, stalking mice and eating the scraps we leave out for Kippy, her big tabby brother and sitting on the ice on the pond. This has led Gabion to believe that she can walk on water. The ice has always melted by the time he goes out. I know this as he has fallen in the water several times to my knowledge. Both my human and I cannot believe just how really stupid he is!

Gabion is a failed stud cat, an idiot, a wuss who is in love, but has no social skills.

Gabion would love to be friends with the black kitten who is called Rae of Hope, but he never really developed any social skills. When Rae comes sashaying past the patio window, coyly looking in at our hero, he goes all ‘giggly’ and starts mewling and rolling round on the carpet whilst all the time looking at her. When the window is opened, he races off like a greyhound out of a trap. However, Rae has bounced down the garden and through the hedge in two bounds, leaving Gabion looking dejected as he screeches to a halt.

Gabion is a failed stud cat, an idiot, a wuss who is in love, with no social skills. However, he now has a mentor!!

Me!!

Having raised my eyes to heaven many times watching Gabion make a complete fool of himself over Rae, I have decided to lend a paw. As an expert in the stud cat department having produced several clutches of exquisite kittens, I am now mentoring him as clearly, he hasn’t got a Scooby-do on his own! He needs an expert on lady cats to show him he needs to slow down, take his time. When the window is open, he must yawn, look disinterested, swagger out inspect his claws and just ignore her. Play hard to get, try not to fall in the pond or out of trees when he climbs them. Let her show some interest in him and hopefully she will come over and say hello, touch noses, then go off for adventures in the hedges (I must remind Gabion that he has been neutered!!) Given time I think Gabion and Rae will be good friends.

Gabion is a failed stud cat, an idiot, a wuss who is in love, with no social skills. However, he now has a mentor … and hope!

I sit next to Gabion on the wicker chair where he looks for Rae to come into the garden.  I whisper into his furry ear, all the tips and hints he needs in order to make friends with girl cats. I’m not sure it’s sinking in yet, though, as I’ve always said Gabes has nothing between his ears. Rae appeared, the window opened and Gabes was off like a champion racehorse after her.   Rae just smirked and was gone. It’s going to be a looooooong task!

Lord Reginald Desmond Vagabond of Tom Cat Towers (and ex-expert stud cat!)

Tom Cat Towers