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Gabes at the cattery waiting for pressiesWhen our human collects Reggie, Chav Cat and I from the cattery, there are always pressies for us when we get home to Tom Cat Towers, probably because she feels so guilty at going away.

This time after 16, yes, 16 nights at the cattery (which we really love, as we are so well cared for, spoiled and looked after, so we really don’t mind), there was a huge box with my name on when we got home.

I had won a competition! 

Webbox had run a ‘Real pets aren't perfect’ story competition.

Apparently, my human had seen the competition, (as we love the Webbox Lick-e-Lix sticks and at Christmas our human was firmly instructed to clear the supermarket shelves of their festive turkey and cranberry sticks to last us the year), rolled her eyes, sighed and then rattled the computer keys with tales of my naughtiness and stupidity.

The time I chewed all across the front of her brand-new designer leather handbag. Nibbled holes in the posh shoes she had put on top of the suitcase then left them there for an hour before closing the case. This had given me ample time to nibble great big bite marks in the heals, which she didn’t see until she put them on for an important interview. And, yes, the holes were noticed and commented on!

The times I have sat on ice on the pond and been utterly surprised when it cracked, and I’ve gone through into freezing water.

Sitting in bagsToilet rolls I have shredded into a zillion bits of paper and strewn them round the room whilst she is asleep, and the cardboard boxes I have reduced to carpet confetti. Carrier bags have to be squeezed into, the smaller the better!

The fact that I am scared of real mice, stalk ants, eat houseflies and am completely bamboozled by newts.

She wrote about my habit of biting everything, including my fur bruv Reggers, and her too. But they’re ‘love bites.’ I don’t hurt; it’s my way of showing that I love them, and I know that my human loves me very much, in fact she adores me… and Reggie too. We are very loved mogsters.

She says she could have written chapter, verse and entire reams about how I am such a rogue of a cat, a loveable furry ragamuffin whose stupidity and naughtiness never cease to amaze her! But she loves me beyond diamonds and wouldn’t change a single whisker in my collection.

She sent the story off and didn’t think anything of it until she got back off holiday to an email saying that I had won.

Gabes picks his favourite!Reggie, my Bruv and I looked at the box on the table, as our human opened it up for us. It was stuffed with cat treats and kibbles, Reggie got in the box and licked his lips. I then got in the box and reached out to put the paw on the treat that I wanted to try.

We tried the kibbles, they were delish. The little tins of epicurean food were a delight and the posh nosh foil trays were so tasty we licked them clean.

It was at this point that Chav Cat came in. She was given a dish of kibbles and asked us what was going on.

I puffed up my chest with pride. My whiskers quivered with excitement as I grandly announced that I had won a national competition. 

I am now ‘The Webbox Wonder’, as I won their competition ‘Real pets aren't perfect.’

Reggie says lip-lickingly delish“Real pets aren't perfect?” Chav Cat muttered in between mouthfuls of kibbles. “I think you’ll find that if you are a human, you have just won the equivalent of ‘Best Village Idiot’ competition!” With that she burped in a most unladylike manner, then went outside to annoy the mice under the shed.

While I, Gabion, the self-appointed ‘Webbox Wonder’, just watched her sashay away down the garden and smirked ‘Jealous or what?!”

 

Gabion Tzchugge ..... The Webbox Wonder!!

Tom Cat Towers

 

A Cats Prayer

Lead me down all the right paths,
Keep me from fleas, bees, and baths.
Let me in should it storm,
Keep me safe, fed, and warm.

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