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Something really odd has happened to my Hooman P.A. My service has been upgraded from Executive to Luxury Spa! Not complaining, mind you!

I came home from the vets after a spot of surgery. My left eye has a large deep persistent ulcer and my personal surgeon decided to stitch my inner eyelid. All very strange, and it means I can’t see out of that eye which is all very peculiar. I also have a plastic collar on my neck which does not bother me one jot…. Until I get an itch on my ears. Then it drives me nuts that I cannot relive it. But Hooman sees me and scratches my ears for me.

She has started doing all sorts of other things for me. Service is now almost 24/7 and has been upgraded totally.

When I eat, it gets in my plastic collar and on my fur round my whiskers. She wipes me with a damp tissue. Saves me having to wash my face.

She gives me spa moments, when I am tipped onto my back on a towel on the bed and she, oh, my goodness wait for this - you will be well jels!!! She massages my feet with wet cloths. It is luxurious beyond belief. She wipes round my pads and my claws just extend with ecstasy!

Then she wipes my botty as I can’t get to it with my collar on. Bit of a shock first time she did it! Not my nice warm raspy tongue which I’m used to, but a soft, gentle cold damp disposable cloth! And my boy bits, or what’s left of my crown jewels after the vet took them away to add to his collection two years ago, are wiped over to make sure they are gleaming clean.

I am tipped on my back twice a day and some drops called ‘medicine’ are dropped into my eye to lubricate things and it feels divine. I am given Webbox Lick-E-Lix, bulked out with some white powder, called L-Lysine, and a ground up Kitzyme. It’s served on a little Wedgwood plate. I have gourmet dining on my own, away from Gabes and Chav Cat.

When my Hooman has a bath, I escort her into the bathroom and am given a small dish of kibbles. If my collar gets in the way, I wait until she is dry then she feeds the kibbles to me individually. It is bliss!

I am so spoiled. I peeped into my personal ‘cat cupboard’ and see that it is stocked with my fave treats, and she has made me my own ‘cat cave’ where my snuggle blanket has been put by the bed for me to snooze on when I want a quiet moment.

But when I’m feeling lively, I just adore Burl Ives 'Ugly Bug Ball' and will come running to look at the screen at the first sound of the song. I listen with my ears wiggling round in time to the music! Now I have a collar on, my Hooman puts it on for hours so I can sit and just listen to it on repeat and not think about my eye. No other version of the song, different singer or song has this effect on me. This is ‘my song’ and I’ve loved it since the first day I came to Tom Cat Towers. Hooman could not believe how I reacted when I first saw and heard Burl Ives sing 'Ugly Bug Ball' - she howled laughing. It’s now a party trick which makes visitors laugh … ‘See Reggers come running when the song comes on’!!

Time for my extravagant spa time, Hooman massages the fur on my back and tummy just to hear me purr!

Must keep my appointment

Lord Reginald Desmond Vagabond of Tom Cat Towers

This is what Gabes thinks of Reggie's viewing tastes.