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Dear Santa Claws,

Mr Tibbs writing a letter to SantaUnaccustomed as I am to meowing for gifts, I shall keep this letter brief (as I know this is your busy time) and stick to my five top requests.

I am not telling any tales out of school here, but this has been a crazy year.  So, my Christmas list shall consist of very practical items which only a powerful bloke, such as yourself, can arrange.

In reverse order:

#5.  Turkey

As you may know, I recently wed the lovely Cleopatra and she LOVES turkey.  So, if you could fix it up so we can have five minutes alone with the Christmas dinner before anyone else has a chance at the bird, that would be greatly appreciated.

#4.  Winter Sports Equipment

You may be surprised by this Mr. Claws, but it is not what you have in mind.  My idea of winter sports is of the indoor variety.  Forget ‘après ski’.  Think more along the lines of ‘aprè mangé’.  A nice cozy cat bed will suffice.

#3. A Healthy Supply of Nip

Patches on her backA couple of Christmases ago there was an epic nip party here at the house.  Bags were broken into and the nip flowed like we had discovered the Elysian Fields.  A repeat performance would be most welcome!  (N. B:  I admit to being coerced into this request by a certain nip fiend)

#2. Peace and Good Will Towards All Felines

2020 has been an extremely trying year for everyone.  Especially, us felines who have had the humans under paw 24/7.  It has been an exercise in patience, I can tell you.  (And you know ‘exercising’ of any kind is NOT my thing).

Please . . . For the tranquillity of all felines . . . ‘Send them back to the office!’

And now for my #1 Christmas wish . . .

Cleo and Tibbs' weddingCould you possibly give everyone a taste of the joy I felt on Sept. 5 2020!  It was the greatest day EVER.  Happiness, fun and joy were had by all.  If we all could live our lives with a fraction of these things, the world would be a better place.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Tibbs.

 

 

 

The Very Best Toy for Cats

"Of all the [cat] toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a noise when you jump on it."

Stephen Baker