OK - whoever dreamt up this "diet" nonsense needs to be taken to You All Know Where for a temperature check where the sun doesn't shine!
It all started last year - I have always loved my food, but in my last home, there was competition - me, my furry mum and my sister and brother all arguing over the food bowls. It has got better now - no other competition, and a nice private chip activated cat flap to keep out unwanted dinner guests. Plus, I'm a pretty friendly type of guy (if I say so myself!) and I have been "two timing" mum (she does know about it) and been getting titbits from the neighbours. Of course, that did lead to a few ounces going on, but I thought, "what the heck, I can always burn it off."
Then came my annual check-up - oh dear! You Know Who weighed me, and I'd gained too much weight - so less food. Mum put me on 1 pouch a day, plus tooth biscuits and some special "fat burning" biscuits I hadn't had before (all food amounts are for 2 meals) - they weren't bad, actually. But oh, was I hungry! It didn't help when Mum got her new job so far away either, as meal times grew further apart.
Well, it did work - a few weeks ago, I'd slimmed down ok, and the Nurse proudly proclaimed me "Slimmer of the month" - I even got a mention on the Vet page on this Facebook thingy you humans like so much! Then, a friend came round to see me - he helps feed me when Mum goes on holiday (she feeds their cat when they go away too, so a very convenient arrangement). He tells Mum off, saying I'm really hungry, she's being cruel, I can't go that long on these rations etc. Don't get me wrong - he is a very nice fella, and he, mum and his partner get on really well.
Anyway, mum immediately starts feeding 2 pouches a day, plus the biscuits. Ah, the relief! It didn't last long though - last Friday I had to have my next weigh-in - and I'd gained weight again! So now, I'm back on the single pouch, 3 tooth biscuits, and yet more of this fat burning biscuit stuff. I'm just hoping to lose the weight again, but I do think Mum won't be so easily swayed to going back to a single pouch a meal in the future.
Still, mustn't grumble (too much), I know how lucky I am to have 2 square meals a day (wonder why they are called square meals if they are served in a round bowl?) - many unlucky street cats don't even have that to eat, and I know Mum has my best interests at heart.
<RUMBLE>
Oh, do shut up stomach!
Denver in Devon, England
Lead me down all the right paths,
Keep me from fleas, bees, and baths.
Let me in should it storm,
Keep me safe, fed, and warm.