Mewsers’ Mewsings is an opinion page for cats that want to get something off their chest.
If your cat has decided views about the way it perceives it is being treated, the food it is expected to eat, the position of the litter tray, the television programmes it is expected to watch while sitting on your lap, the choice of music that blares out while it is trying to sleep – then this is the place for your cat to air its opinion.
Have your cat write to the ‘contact us’ address on the Home Page and his or her views will be posted on these pages. But please, absolutely no bad language! If your cat likes publicity, then photos will be accepted as long as they are not too large.
Please be aware that the views expressed on these pages do not necessarily reflect the views and the opinion of the editor of the website!
The Fallon Felines are the luckiest felines in the world, living as they do with a wonderful human Mum called Sue Fallon. Sue takes on elderly cats that have been rejected by their original human families because many of them have serious health issues. The following stories have been written by the grateful cats who live with Sue and all of them are heartwarming and uplifting . . .
This is the section where the Daily Mewsers - and any other cat who has something to say - can voice their opinions.
I, myself, have special privileged dining rights and expectations here at Tom Cat Towers. Whilst I am happy for Maid to throw scraps out for the waifs and strays who rumble their way to our gates, garden and hedgerow for food, Maid’s first priority is me.
I expect the best and am given the best. I am first to be fed in the morning and last to receive handfed kibbles at night before I retire to my royal bedchamber with Maid.
Maid is kept on her toes as I keep her guessing as to whether I will accept the morsels proffered for my inspection, or whether I will march off to bed, tummy rumbling with starvation in order for her feel guilty at the low levels of service which I receive.
But one thing is assured, I have a constant cabaret of garden guests who come and go in the garden for me to watch as they bring their empty tummies for a fine dining experience here at Tom Cat Towers.
Teddie Tumpkins and the Tiddleswick Tail Lifters is the latest brain child from the amazing woman who is behind Willi Whizkas, Dippi-Duck's Demon and Dumpty's Diaries.
You will laugh at the antics of Teddie Tumpkins and the various characters that make up the Tiddleswick Tail Lifters.
Written by Carol Lake in conjuction with Feline Undercover Agent; John Turner
Illustrated by Frances Gillotti
Let me introduce you to Squirt, our newest correspondent all the way from Scotland. Squirt is a Somali Variant and he has written a book (which you'll find in the Book Review section - called Reservoir Cats) Squirt says that it might help you, when reading his book and his column, to imagine him speaking in a particular 'voice'. He feels Sir Sean Connery's voice is just right for this!
I know you'll love Squirt's Scribblings; they're funny, they're adventurous, they're irreverent and hugely entertaining.
This is where articles/columns will be filed if the cat has gone to Rainbow Bridge or if that particular column has come to an end.
Dumpty - once the July Pin Up Puss for Purina now a friend to the blackbird community in Stafford, has deigned to write her Musings - mainly about herself - but occasionally bemoaning the fact that she shares her life and living space with Willi Whizkas and Dippi Duck.
When Ollie first came to the Daily Mews Mansion, he was so excited to be living in a house with 6 other cats, that he wanted to make his mark somehow - and he didn't mean spraying up the furniture - not that kind of mark!
He decided he wanted to write an account of his new life so that kittens all around the world would know just how lucky he was to have found a new forever home, and he wanted to impart the knowledge that Garfield, Charlie, Ricky, Sam, Billy and Timmy shared so generously with him.
On these pages, you'll enjoy Ollie's view of his world ...
I'm proud to announce that Jimmy who is our regular Feline Daily Mews Columnist, has moved from the Cat Chat section to his own spot here, in the Mewsers' Mewsings.
Now you will be able to read all his mewsings on the topics that spike his interest. Jimmy writes about subjects that most people are too afraid to even whisper about.
But Jimmy shies away from nothing - calling on the Great Cat for his strength, he tells it like it is.
After a very last minute stay of execution. Dippi-Duck, a severely disabled inbred Persian cat arrived at Tom Cat Towers and found herself living with Dumpty, a faded film star and career Diva, and Willi, a devil in his day, who became Dippi's carer, shadow and even her Demon .....
Dippi is the most loving cat you could wish to find. Willi Whiskas found himself enamoured and intrigued by her, probably because he'd never seen a disabled cat before. But as gallant as a ginger gut truck can be he is usually to be found as near to her as she'll allow him to be.
This, then, is Dippi's chance to tell it like it is; to spill the beans on life at Tom Cat Towers and what it's really like living with a Prima Donna Himalayan Lynx called Little Dumpty Roo!! Will's adds his whiskers worth at the end of each of her Musings.
Holly (Hol) and Daisy are the siblings of the Daily Mews first feline correspondence, Jimmy, who sadly transcended to Rainbow Bridge on 12th June 2014, aged 24. Jimmy was an irascible reporter, telling it like he is and he will be greatly missed. But Holly has stepped up to the plate and with her sister Daisy, will continue Jimmy's column. Already Holly is channelling Jimmy and on these pages, you'll know doubt here a tinkle of laughter when you read Holly's words.
Hol and Daisy Sauce (Hollandaise Sauce) is a play on words because it's Holly and Daisy, and between the two of them - plus Jimmy's spirtual interventions, I'm sure their column will be quite saucy!
Bilbo is our latest feline columnist who aspires to write about his daily life, with his older companion Tammy. Living in the shadow of the legendary Tigger - who was a cosmopolitan cat who travelled the world Bilbo is still finding his voice - which at the moment is a whisper. But give him time and encouragement and I think we have the makings of a wonderful new feline star.
We extend the warm paw of friendship to Bilbo!
Enjoy his writings ...
Casey has been writing odd bits and pieces when the mood takes him and he has something to say that he feels is worthwhile for a some time now. However, just recently he casually left his list for Santa Paws on the table and I happened to take a glance. There was one item underlined in red six times so I'm guessing he really wants this particular item. It's a lap top because he wants to let his inner 'mews' have freedom of expression - whatever that might mean.
Here then, at long last and by popular request, is Casey doing what he does best - chatting about this and that and the price of fish.
Prince Clarence Clutterbuck of Sozzlebury, lives in Gripewaters Towers, a crumbling pile in the rural countryside of Great Britain, keeping one of his cataracted eyes on the nefarious shenanigans of the manservant, Skrowte and the other on his devoted mistress, Lady Trumpington Trubshaw.
This is British Aristocracy at its best, the penny-pinching, the bottom-slapping, the toe-curling audacious hangers-on that decamp at Gripewater Towers make up an eclectic mix of characters which will delight and appal you in equal measures.
So if you are suffering withdrawal symptoms because Downton Abbey is no longer on our television screens, then perk up because Toff Cat is just the right ‘pick-me-up’ to put a smile on your face.
I guarantee you will be laughing!
Moet is a very special cat and we, here at the Daily Mews Head Office, are absolutely delighted to welcome Moet to our ever-growing band of cat correspondents. Where would we be without our wonderful feline friends with their view of life, love and the price of fish!
Moet lives in Oman with her ‘sistfurs’ Luna and Lily and her 'brofur' Cosmo. You’re going to love hearing about her life and her ‘Mewsings’.
You can contact Moet on her Twitter account: @Moetblindcat
And here on her Facebook account: facebook.com/MoetBlindCat
You can also follow Moet on Instagram: @moetblindcat
And on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MoettheBlindCat
She also has her own website: www.moetblindcat.com
Being overweight is no fun, especially when you’re a cat. In this new, exciting, column, Indie – aka the Weight Loss Cat – reveals the ups and down of his weight loss journey. Sharing tips and tricks that may just help the overweight Food Bowl Attendants in the process.
This handsome boy is Cookie. He likes writing 'wiv words' and his words are wonderfully funny, insightful, and thought-provoking.
Enjoys his words!
Gibbs often asks Casey if he can use his column to air his views. Casey, being the obliging cat that he is, lets him but he did suggest to me that it was about time that Gibbs had his own column. Here, then, is Gibbs’ Giggles – although he does have his serious side on occasions. Gibbs stresses that he doesn’t giggle all the time; he is prone to the odd grumble or gripe now and then.
Gabes, or Gabion Tzchugge, to give him his full and proper name, is just 2 years of age (9th April). He's been through a lot these past few months, and in deep discussion with Casey and Gibbs, it was decided that he should have his own column, so that he can let off steam now and then.
This is the section where humorous stories are posted. Very often these have been sent via email to several people before landing in my inbox. Unfortunately, the source/author is often unknown. However, if you know the source or the author, please let me know and I will credit the story accordingly..
Just once in a while a talent comes along that blows your mind away, and here at the Daily Mews, we are blessed with the wonderful artistic talent of Laura Dumm.
Cudell Street Cats are cartoons based on Laura's own amazing feline family and each month we'll be featuring a new cartoon. Laura is a gifted artist and you can see some of her work here: www.DummArt.com
We've all heard of the great Chinese philospher, Confucius, who lived 551 - 479 BC. Well, the Daily Mews is, indeed, blessed to have its own Somalian philosopher, Squirt, aka, Catfucius, who lives in the wilds of Scotland. Dispensing wisdom with his own inimitable brand of humour, this new section will delight the reader with Squirt's wise teachings and parodies of sayings suitable for every occasion.
The cat who chases two mice catches neither
My thanks to Anthony Smith for this great drawing of Catfucius.
If there is less of your human’s lap than there used to be then maybe you need to help them shape up. After all, their lap is your resting place and if that space is diminishing, then something needs to be done! This is the section where cats unite across the world to reclaim what is rightfully theirs – the snooze spot which doesn’t move (much) because the human sits down a lot (which is probably why there is less lap space than there should be).
Casey and Gibbs have embarked on a flab fighting mission to rid their human of the additional wobbly stuff that has accumulated over the years and this year, they mean business. The wobble has to go. Are you in? Will you join them as they try to motivate felines all over the world to get their staff, human food bowl attendants, call them what you will – to shape up or ship out?
Write to Casey@thedailymews.com because he wants to hear from you with your ingenious ways of getting that stubborn human to move from the sofa to become the svelte lean machine they were always meant to be. In the process, felines that are carrying a little extra ‘furry’ bits around their middles will be encouraged to ditch the flab too.
Casey and Gibbs believe that every human deserves a second chance. They realise that all humans are a sub-species requiring delicate handling and understanding by their feline companions. They put their heads together after Christmas when they saw their human Mum standing dejectedly on the bathroom scales muttering that the numbers were going in the wrong direction.
Being the caring felines that they are, (and wanting more lap space to snooze the evenings away) they decided to do something positive about this sorry state of affairs. The following articles are not meant for the squeamish. Humans do cry especially when their feline superiors withdraw their chocolate rations and lock up the biscuits.
Denver is quite happy to share his experience with you so that - perish the thought - you find yourselves in a similar situation, you'll be well-versed in knowing how to tackle the problem of being 'overly-fluffy'.
Denver lives in Devon with his doting Mum, Helen.
Gabion, or Gabes, for short, has his work cut out if he is to fulfil the late wishes of his paramour, Dumpty Roo. Their Maid, a porky being of indeterminate proportions, is in dire need of a make-over in order to be holiday ready for a trip to the Arctic in the autumn.
This journey began with Dumpty's first - and last - attempt at getting her human to unfatten and fitten up. A journey that Gabes will continue to make Dumpty proud of him, and to show that her work and her efforts were not in vain.
It's not easy keeping oneself in the prime of health and fitness. We cats take our health very seriously and we don't like it when our humans get slovenly with their fitness regimes. My human needs a complete overhaul and I've taken it upon myself - at no extra cost - to help whip her into shape. One of my housemates - Ka-Two - needs to lose a few pounds and I'll sort her out as well.
So, my life will be a bit busier than usual - that's OK. That's what we cats are here for - to care for you humans and to see that you make the grade.
Join me as I chronicle the ups and downs of trying to create a near-perfect human!
Actually, my human has her own column - 15 cats and meowing - so she's pretty darn near perfect anyway taking care of all of us which is why I want to take care of her.
Bumble is a cat on a mission. His Dad, the author, Jem Vanston, has had the temerity to call him 'plumpity' when it is quite clear to all concerned, that he's just extremely fluffy. His Dad has his own issues with being overly fluffy, too. But Bumble has a cunning plan. Never cross a cat or insult one because they never forget - ever!
Read how Bumble plans to get his own back on his Dad - and the lengths he'll go to achieve the ultimate goal: a less plumpity Dad and maybe - grudgingly - a slightly less fluffy middle himself!