• Mewsers' Mewsings

    Mewsers’ Mewsings is an opinion page for cats that want to get something off their chest.

    If your cat has decided views about the way it perceives it is being treated, the food it is expected to eat, the position of the litter tray, the television programmes it is expected to watch while sitting on your lap, the choice of music that blares out while it is trying to sleep – then this is the place for your cat to air its opinion. 

    Have your cat write to the ‘contact us’ address on the Home Page and his or her views will be posted on these pages. But please, absolutely no bad language! If your cat likes publicity, then photos will be accepted as long as they are not too large.

    Please be aware that the views expressed on these pages do not necessarily reflect the views and the opinion of the editor of the website!

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    • Fallon Felines

      The Fallon Felines are the luckiest felines in the world, living as they do with a wonderful human Mum called Sue Fallon. Sue takes on elderly cats that have been rejected by their original human families because many of them have serious health issues. The following stories have been written by the grateful cats who live with Sue and all of them are heartwarming and uplifting . . .  

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    • Mewsers' Corner

      This is the section where the Daily Mewsers - and any other cat who has something to say - can voice their opinions.

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      • Mew Year's Resolutions
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      • Dumpty's Dinner Dates

        Maid and MadamI, myself, have special privileged dining rights and expectations here at Tom Cat Towers. Whilst I am happy for Maid to throw scraps out for the waifs and strays who rumble their way to our gates, garden and hedgerow for food, Maid’s first priority is me. 
        I expect the best and am given the best. I am first to be fed in the morning and last to receive handfed kibbles at night before I retire to my royal bedchamber with Maid. 

        Maid is kept on her toes as I keep her guessing as to whether I will accept the morsels proffered for my inspection, or whether I will march off to bed, tummy rumbling with starvation in order for her feel guilty at the low levels of service which I receive. 

        But one thing is assured, I have a constant cabaret of garden guests who come and go in the garden for me to watch as they bring their empty tummies for a fine dining experience here at Tom Cat Towers.

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    • Stormy's Diaries
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    • Teddie Tumpkins & the Tiddleswick Tail Lifters

      Teddie Tumpkins and the Tiddleswick Tail Lifters is the latest brain child from the amazing woman who is behind Willi Whizkas, Dippi-Duck's Demon and  Dumpty's Diaries.

      You will laugh at the antics of Teddie Tumpkins and the various characters that make up the Tiddleswick Tail Lifters.

      Written by Carol Lake in conjuction with Feline Undercover Agent; John Turner  

      Illustrated by Frances Gillotti

       

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    • Squirt's Scribblings

       Let me introduce you to Squirt, our newest correspondent all the way from Scotland. Squirt is a Somali Variant and he has written a book (which you'll find in the Book Review section - called Reservoir Cats) Squirt says that it might help you, when reading his book and his column, to imagine him speaking in a particular 'voice'. He feels Sir Sean Connery's voice is just right for this!

      I know you'll love Squirt's Scribblings; they're funny, they're adventurous, they're irreverent and hugely entertaining.

      Enjoy!!!

       

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    • Filed Felines

      Ollie in the crinkle bagThis is where articles/columns will be filed if the cat has gone to Rainbow Bridge or if that particular column has come to an end. 

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      • Willi Whizkas

        Willi Whizkas

        As a child I loved being read or told a story, I still do, I never grew out of it. John Paws is very good at telling tall tales and would make up stories about our cats which he would tell me at night as we relaxed with a glass of wine, I now make up the characters and plots then John closes his eyes and sees everything from the cats point of view, for example, when you buy a cat a new sparkly jewelled collar, once it’s round his neck he won't see it again!
         
        Willi Whizkas really exists - he lives with us. He picked us as his humans in late 1999, when he was a really cute beige Maine Coon kitten he had been looked over as a show cat as he was 'ginger', but once he got his paws under our table he showed his true colours!!
         
        In real life Willi Whizkas really is a cat on a mission of naughtiness and adventure, so we started to watch what he would get up to. Some cats would come into his garden and he’d attack them quite furiously, others he’d just ignore. Some cats he just casually greeted whilst others he would run to greet them then sashay off into the bushes tails entwined with his playmate for another day filled with adventure and derring-do.
         
        Some days he’d sleep all day on the bed too exhausted to even raise an eyelid, others he’d be out with the dawn chorus, coming home reluctantly at night bursting with excitement, covered in bits of twigs, grass and slugs, other nights he’d be so tired he could barely drag his tail through the door before collapsing on the mat almost comatose.
         
        So we started to speculate as to what exactly he was doing whilst out of our sight, and the Willi Whizkas series was born. In 2001 we started to write the stories down as we had rattled off quite a few by then, we thought it would be nice to keep a record so we could read them again later as some of them were very funny and it was a shame to lose them.
         
          
         
        TutshtotsTushtots joined us in 2001. He was in a poor neglected state; his fur was one solid felt and full of fleas, his broken jaw had set crooked and his teeth were shattered. He really was so hungry his tummy skin did hang down like a bag of udders and he didn't have long on this earth things were so bad. We held our breath not knowing how Willi would react to the new 'emergency' member of our family, but he absolutely adored him from the first moment he set eyes on him. He looked out for him after he'd been shaved of all his fur, he would love and lick him and when Tushie cried he would lick him between his ears to calm him down. When Tushtots fur grew and he was allowed out, Wills took him on adventures and cuddles up at night with him in their ‘snooozeee’ on the work surface in the kitchen.
         
        Tushtots then made a career move, shortly after being rescued he became a ‘baby’, he doesn’t want to be a cat anymore, he just wants to be loved and cuddled by his new humans as for once in his sad life he feels secure and loved, he now only goes out on a collar and lead much to the amusement of Willi who will break off from important tasks like supervising newts in the pond, inspecting nests or marshalling baby birds round the lawn to come and escort Tushie and myself round the garden when we have ‘walkies’. Tushie is now a very much-loved cat!
         
          
         
        The tales are ‘true’ based on what we have seen our ‘boys’ do. We have just finished book 5 and in a few weeks time we’ll start on book 6 with a whole host of new characters.
         
        We are hugely complimented that people are buying the books, and bowled over that the book is being enjoyed and laughed at because we wrote the stories purely just for our own enjoyment. We never ever expected that they would be good enough to be published and we were just happy that friends who loved them and saw their own cat and what it did in the tales were passing them around. Never in our wildest dreams did we think our naughty cat would be going global and a 'cult book' in America!!
         
        Over the road live two marmalade coloured cats, we call Ginger Podgers and Fred Who Stares, they join Willi in his next book, The Tiddleswick Taillifters along with Grumpwhiskers, Pusstachio and Skwonx In fact we have so many cats such as Al Caponie and his cheesy brother Mouse Caponie, Woolleybum and Mewriel in humorous stories that we can’t wait for the next books to be published so ‘fans’ who loved the first book can get into Willi’s World and enjoy the fun.
         
        We haven’t published the tales for money. We have all we need in life, our small home, happy cats and full tummies so if we do make a little bit from the books it would be a bonus, and we’re so daft we’d spend it on the cats anyway!!
         
        Willi and Tusher get fan mail, but because they are so busy out having adventures, the mail is answered on their behalf!
         
        To contact Willi we have a web site with an email link http://www.williwhizkas.co.uk/ and he loves to hear from others, humans and cats!!
         
        © Cat Turner (UK)
         
        Willi Whiskas is available at Waterstones, and all major bookshops and can be purchased from Amazon. This is the ISBN number 1903 506183 and the price in the UK is £7.99.
         
        Please click here to read more stories of Willi and his friends 
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      • Dumpty's Diaries

        Dumpty with one of her pet blackbirds

        Dumpty - once the July Pin Up Puss for Purina now a friend to the blackbird community in Stafford, has deigned to write her Musings - mainly about herself - but occasionally bemoaning the fact that she shares her life and living space with Willi Whizkas and Dippi Duck.

        Enjoy!

         

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      • Ollie's Diaries

        Ollie playing hide and seekWhen Ollie first came to the Daily Mews Mansion, he was so excited to be living in a house with 6 other cats, that he wanted to make his mark somehow - and he didn't mean spraying up the furniture - not that kind of mark!

        He decided he wanted to write an account of his new life so that kittens all around the world would know just how lucky he was to have found a new forever home, and he wanted to impart the knowledge that Garfield, Charlie, Ricky, Sam, Billy and Timmy shared so generously with him.

        On these pages, you'll enjoy Ollie's view of his world ... 

         

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      • Jimmy's Mewsings

        I'm proud to announce that Jimmy who is our regular Feline Daily Mews Columnist, has moved from the Cat Chat section to his own spot here, in the Mewsers' Mewsings.

        Now you will be able to read all his mewsings on the topics that spike his interest. Jimmy writes about subjects that most people are too afraid to even whisper about.

         

        But Jimmy shies away from nothing - calling on the Great Cat for his strength, he tells it like it is.

         

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      • Dippi-Duck's Demon

        Dippi DuckAfter a very last minute stay of execution. Dippi-Duck, a severely disabled inbred Persian cat arrived at Tom Cat Towers and found herself living with Dumpty, a faded film star and career Diva, and Willi, a devil in his day, who became Dippi's carer, shadow and even her Demon .....

        Dippi is the most loving cat you could wish to find. Willi Whiskas found himself enamoured and intrigued by her, probably because he'd never seen a disabled cat before. But as gallant as a ginger gut truck can be he is usually to be found as near to her as she'll allow him to be.

        This, then, is Dippi's chance to tell it like it is; to spill the beans on life at Tom Cat Towers and what it's really like living with a Prima Donna Himalayan Lynx called Little Dumpty Roo!! Will's adds his whiskers worth at the end of each of her Musings.  

        Regular readers will already be familiar with Dumpty's Diaries and Willi Whizkas, now read about Dippi Duck's Demon.

        Enjoy!

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      • Hol and Daisy Sauce

        Holly (Hol) and Daisy are the siblings of the Daily Mews first feline correspondence, Jimmy, who sadly transcended to Rainbow Bridge on 12th June 2014, aged 24. Jimmy was an irascible reporter, telling it like he is and he will be greatly missed. But Holly has stepped up to the plate and with her sister Daisy, will continue Jimmy's column. Already Holly is channelling Jimmy and on these pages, you'll know doubt here a tinkle of laughter when you read Holly's words.

        Hol and Daisy Sauce (Hollandaise Sauce) is a play on words because it's Holly and Daisy, and between the two of them - plus Jimmy's spirtual interventions, I'm sure their column will be quite saucy!

        Enjoy!!!  

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    • Bilbo's Buzz

      Bilbo is our latest feline columnist who aspires to write about his daily life, with his older companion Tammy.  Living in the shadow of the legendary Tigger - who was a cosmopolitan cat who travelled the world Bilbo is still finding his voice - which at the moment is a whisper.  But give him time and encouragement and I think we have the makings of a wonderful new feline star.

      We extend the warm paw of friendship to Bilbo!

      Enjoy his writings ...

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    • Casey's Chats

      Casey has been writing odd bits and pieces when the mood takes him and he has something to say that he feels is worthwhile for a some time now.  However, just recently he casually left his list for Santa Paws on the table and I happened to take a glance.  There was one item underlined in red six times so I'm guessing he really wants this particular item.  It's a lap top because he wants to let his inner 'mews' have freedom of expression - whatever that might mean.   

      Here then, at long last and by popular request, is Casey doing what he does best - chatting about this and that and the price of fish.

      Enjoy! 

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    • Toff Cat

      Prince Clarence Clutterbuck of Sozzlebury, lives in Gripewaters Towers, a crumbling pile in the rural countryside of Great Britain, keeping one of his cataracted eyes on the nefarious shenanigans of the manservant, Skrowte and the other on his devoted mistress, Lady Trumpington Trubshaw.

      This is British Aristocracy at its best, the penny-pinching, the bottom-slapping, the toe-curling audacious hangers-on that decamp at Gripewater Towers make up an eclectic mix of characters which will delight and appal you in equal measures. 

      So if you are suffering withdrawal symptoms because Downton Abbey is no longer on our television screens, then perk up because Toff Cat is just the right ‘pick-me-up’ to put a smile on your face.

      I guarantee you will be laughing!  

        

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    • Moet's Mewsings

      Moet

      Moet is a very special cat and we, here at the Daily Mews Head Office, are absolutely delighted to welcome Moet to our ever-growing band of cat correspondents.  Where would we be without our wonderful feline friends with their view of life, love and the price of fish!

      Moet lives in Oman with her ‘sistfurs’ Luna and Lily and her 'brofur' Cosmo.  You’re going to love hearing about her life and her ‘Mewsings’.

      You can contact Moet on her Twitter account: @Moetblindcat

      And here on her Facebook account:  facebook.com/MoetBlindCat

      You can also follow Moet on Instagram: @moetblindcat

      And on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MoettheBlindCat

      She also has her own website: www.moetblindcat.com

       

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    • Indigo - aka - weightloss cat

      indigo - the weightloss catBeing overweight is no fun, especially when you’re a cat.  In this new, exciting, column, Indie – aka the Weight Loss Cat – reveals the ups and down of his weight loss journey.  Sharing tips and tricks that may just help the overweight Food Bowl Attendants in the process. 

       

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    • Cookie's Crackles

      Cookie This handsome boy is Cookie.  He likes writing 'wiv words' and his words are wonderfully funny, insightful, and thought-provoking.

      Enjoys his words!

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    • Gibbs' Giggles

      Gorgeous GibbsGibbs often asks Casey if he can use his column to air his views.  Casey, being the obliging cat that he is, lets him but he did suggest to me that it was about time that Gibbs had his own column.  Here, then, is Gibbs’ Giggles – although he does have his serious side on occasions.  Gibbs stresses that he doesn’t giggle all the time; he is prone to the odd grumble or gripe now and then.

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    • Gabes' Gabblings

      Gabes - aka - Captain BuggernutsGabes, or Gabion Tzchugge, to give him his full and proper name, is just 2 years of age (9th April).  He's been through a lot these past few months, and in deep discussion with Casey and Gibbs, it was decided that he should have his own column, so that he can let off steam now and then.

       

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    • Lord Reginald's Ruminations

      Lord Reginald admiring himself in the mirror

      Recently retired from life as a secret agent, I am now in a Witness Protection Programme where I’ve got a brand-new identity, name, and residence.  My pedigree stretches back to Puss in Boots and beyond, and my lineage carries on through the many kittens I’ve sired in my line of duty.  Of course, a gentlecat, such as I am, doesn’t kiss and tell about his many liaisons so don’t expect any sordid gutter press tabloid headlines in this column.  

      I was very busy in my previous life so it’s rather nice to just sit back and let the world pass by without having to constantly look at the calendar to see all the appointments mounting up that I had to fulfil.  

      I live with a Maid with an impeccable service record. There are two other felines in residence: a little whippersnapper called Gabion Tzchugge who seems to idolise me and a rather porky female called Chav Cat. 

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    • Chav Cat Chompers

      Chav CatChav cat lives with Gabion Tzchugge and Lord Reginald, retired stud cat of the highest pedigree.  Realising she has let herself 'go' somewhat, she is about to embark on a voyage of discovery (apart from bits of twig and slugs in her pelt) and become the feline of Reggie's dreams.  

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    • Pip of Panagia

      Cats of ThassosNamed after the Virgin Mary, who is also the patron saint of the village, Panagia is one of the most picturesque and photogenic villages on the island of Thassos. Pip, the newest cat to find himself living in the Wiles' household, would like to share what life is like - living on a Greek island with many other cats fighting for survival. 

       

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  • A'Mews'ment Arcade

    This is the section  where humorous stories are posted. Very often these have been sent via  email to several people before landing in my inbox. Unfortunately, the source/author is often unknown. However, if you know the source or the author, please let me know and I will credit the story accordingly..

    Enjoy!

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  • Dumm Art

     

    Just once in a while a talent comes along that blows your mind away, and here at the Daily Mews, we are blessed with the wonderful artistic talent of Laura Dumm.

    Cudell Street Cats are cartoons based on Laura's own amazing feline family and each month we'll be featuring a new cartoon. Laura is a gifted artist and you can see some of her work here: www.DummArt.com

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  • Catfucius he says ....

    We've all heard of the great Chinese philospher, Confucius, who lived 551 - 479 BC.  Well, the Daily Mews is, indeed, blessed to have its own Somalian philosopher, Squirt, aka, Catfucius, who lives in the wilds of Scotland.  Dispensing wisdom with his own inimitable brand of humour, this new section will delight the reader with Squirt's wise teachings and parodies of sayings suitable for every occasion.

     

    The cat who chases two mice catches neither

     

    by Anthony Smith

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    My thanks to Anthony Smith for this great drawing of Catfucius.

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  • Fighting the Flab the Feline Way

    If there is less of your human’s lap than there used to be then maybe you need to help them shape up.  After all, their lap is your resting place and if that space is diminishing, then something needs to be done!  This is the section where cats unite across the world to reclaim what is rightfully theirs – the snooze spot which doesn’t move (much) because the human sits down a lot (which is probably why there is less lap space than there should be).

    Casey and Gibbs have embarked on a flab fighting mission to rid their human of the additional wobbly stuff that has accumulated over the years and this year, they mean business.  The wobble has to go.  Are you in? Will you join them as they try to motivate felines all over the world to get their staff, human food bowl attendants, call them what you will – to shape up or ship out?   

    Write to Casey@thedailymews.com because he wants to hear from you with your ingenious ways of getting that stubborn human to move from the sofa to become the svelte lean machine they were always meant to be.  In the process, felines that are carrying a little extra ‘furry’ bits around their middles will be encouraged to ditch the flab too.

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    • Casey and Gibbs

      Casey and Gibbs discussing the lack of a lap situationCasey and Gibbs believe that every human deserves a second chance.  They realise that all humans are a sub-species requiring delicate handling and understanding by their feline companions.  They put their heads together after Christmas when they saw their human Mum standing dejectedly on the bathroom scales muttering that the numbers were going in the wrong direction.

      Being the caring felines that they are, (and wanting more lap space to snooze the evenings away) they decided to do something positive about this sorry state of affairs.  The following articles are not meant for the squeamish.  Humans do cry especially when their feline superiors withdraw their chocolate rations and lock up the biscuits.

      Enjoy!

       

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    • Dieting with Denver

      DenverDenver is quite happy to share his experience with you so that - perish the thought - you find yourselves in a similar situation, you'll be well-versed in knowing how to tackle the problem of being 'overly-fluffy'.

      Denver lives in Devon with his doting Mum, Helen.

       

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    • Gabion Tzchugge and Maid

      Gabion Tzchugge or Captain Buggernuts Gabion, or Gabes, for short, has his work cut out if he is to fulfil the late wishes of his paramour, Dumpty Roo.  Their Maid, a porky being of indeterminate proportions, is in dire need of a make-over in order to be holiday ready for a trip to the Arctic in the autumn.

      This journey began with Dumpty's first - and last - attempt at getting her human to unfatten and fitten up.  A journey that Gabes will continue to make Dumpty proud of him, and to show that her work and her efforts were not in vain.

       

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    • Phoebe's Weight Loss Tips

      PhoebeIt's not easy keeping oneself in the prime of health and fitness.  We cats take our health very seriously and we don't like it when our humans get slovenly with their fitness regimes.  My human needs a complete overhaul and I've taken it upon myself - at no extra cost - to help whip her into shape.  One of my housemates - Ka-Two - needs to lose a few pounds and I'll sort her out as well.

      So, my life will be a bit busier than usual - that's OK.  That's what we cats are here for - to care for you humans and to see that you make the grade.  

      Join me as I chronicle the ups and downs of trying to create a near-perfect human! 

      Actually, my human has her own column - 15 cats and meowing - so she's pretty darn near perfect anyway taking care of all of us which is why I want to take care of her. 

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    • Bumble and Jem

      BumbleBumble is a cat on a mission.  His Dad, the author, Jem Vanston, has had the temerity to call him 'plumpity' when it is quite clear to all concerned, that he's just extremely fluffy.  His Dad has his own issues with being overly fluffy, too.  But Bumble has a cunning plan.  Never cross a cat or insult one because they never forget - ever!  

      Read how Bumble plans to get his own back on his Dad - and the lengths he'll go to achieve the ultimate goal: a less plumpity Dad and maybe - grudgingly - a slightly less fluffy middle himself!

       

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The Very Best Toy for Cats

"Of all the [cat] toys available, none is better designed than the owner himself. A large multipurpose plaything, its parts can be made to move in almost any direction. It comes completely assembled, and it makes a noise when you jump on it."

Stephen Baker

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