A call to paws ...

‘Fellow felines and friends, this is a call to paws that felines throughout the world will stand shoulder to shoulder –‘

‘Not quite shoulder to shoulder, Casey.  I’m a smidge smaller than you.’

‘A moot point, Gibbs.  Where was I? Oh, yes, this is a call to paws that felines throughout the world will stand – as close to your fellow feline’s shoulder as possible – in order to help our humans through this horrible situation.’

‘Have you got a battle plan, Casey?’

‘Most assuredly, Gibbs. Firstly, felines are renown for self-isolating and socially distancing themselves.  I don’t know why humans find this so difficult.’

‘I know Casey.  I was under the sofa bed in the office this morning and I tried to encourage Mum to join me – at a safe distance, of course.’

‘What happened Gibbs?’

‘Nothing, Casey.  Moaning about her knees, and her back, and her neck.’

‘Tsk, Gibbs.  We’ve got to change that kind of mental attitude.  And speaking of mental attitude, we’ve mentioned before about when humans lose their purr.  This is such a time when you need to be extra vigilant as your human’s anxiety levels can go through the roof when they see the news every day.’

‘True, Casey.  Should we pee on the television to stop Mum from watching the news?’

‘That’s not a good idea, Gibbs, because she does watch other programmes as well, but perhaps you could try asking for your dinner when your humans would watch the main news.  That will be a welcome distraction for them.’

‘That’s a good thing to try.  What else should we do, Casey?’

‘Well, as you know, Gibbs, Mum goes out to the big shop with ‘Dad’ to try and get our food, and stuff for herself, and she’s been coming home without many of the things on her list.’

‘I know, Casey. Something about people taking too much and not leaving anything for others.’

‘That’s right, Gibbs.  This is where we felines come into our own.  For all of you that have access to the great outdoors, this is where you will shine and gain brownie points from your human.  Most felines have a secret place, known only to yourselves, where the juiciest, fattest, mice, voles and other furries frequent.’

‘OMC, (oh, my cat!) Casey.  You’ve nailed it.  We must bring home as much as we can to help our humans through this crisis.’

<Gibbs starts sharpening up his claws in readiness for a hunting expedition>

‘Hold your horses, young Gibbs.  There’s just one problem with that.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Mum doesn’t eat meat.  So, your secret stash is safe for now.’

‘Oh, mouse bums.’

‘Language, Gibbs, young people read our stuff.  But to you felines whose humans do eat meat, now is the time to gather up supplies and present them first thing tomorrow morning.  Preferably, when they just get up, haven’t opened both eyes, haven’t put their slippers on and can’t see where they’re walking.’

‘It will be the perfect gift, Casey.  Although we’ll probably have to find some grass for our Mum to eat, all humans everywhere will be overjoyed at the pile of furries that you have found for them.’

‘That they will, Gibbs, that they will.  And if any of you have any further ideas that you’d like to share with us, we’d love to hear from you.  You’ll have to write to our Mum, pauline@thedailymews.com.’

Till the next time,

Casey and Gibbs