The Saga Continues (Part 6)

Something new arrived on my bed today, a snoozzeee pod. As senior royal feline of the establishment here at Tom Cat Towers, it was only right and proper that it was given to me first. Frankly I do not like such contraptions; I consider them as rather chav and down market.

Cats are meant to stretch out on a bed, allowing a small space for their human staff to rest, always on duty, should cats require feeding during the dark hours. It is not quite right to curl up in a furry cave. However, to show willing, I allowed Maid to gently put me into the thing. I yawned my disapproval and after about three seconds I gracefully vacated it, making it quite clear that this thing was an insult to my breed. To make my displeasure known at being handed such a cheap item, I went to sulk behind the bed in the back room for a couple of hours.

 When I woke up and deigned to join my staff, the Gingie-crew were eating nosily in the kitchen having just come in from the great outdoors. They were covered in leaves, grass and bits of twigs. It is completely beyond me how a cat can allow its pelt to become so encrusted with rubbish. I am just amazed that the pair of them can sit and pull bits of flora and fauna from their pelt and not choke. It is also completely beyond my understanding that a cat can enjoy going outside in the first place, all that dirt to walk on and cold wind ruffling through one’s pelt, and water falling from the sky - quite absurd. One’s paws and delicate pink pads are designed for the finest wool carpets and designer duvets only.

After Gingie-crew had stuffed themselves and splattered food all over their whiskers, they noticed the new snoozzeee pod. It was placed on the carpet in the lounge where Dippi-Duck immediately went over to it, sniffing it with great excitement. She was soon curled up inside, dropping bits of twigs and dried slugs off her fur into it. As soon as she left the snoozzeee pod, Willi Whizkas climbed in. Being a large cat, the snoozzeee pod bulged at the edges. When he had been in there for a good snooze, he picked a few knots out of his fur and then went off in search of more food (certainly lives up to his name of ‘Gut-truck’), so Dippi-Duck climbed back in the snoozzeee and snuggled down. Ever since then the pair of them have been ‘hot-podding’. There is not a moment when one of the Gingie-crew is not in residence in the snoozzeee pod. As I said, quite chav – both the pod and Gingie-crew! I have no intention of setting paw in it; just the thought of settling down on another cat’s pelt droppings is just too horrendous to even let my mind contemplate.

Maid’s version!

Today we were given a new furry cat-crib especially for Madam. It was accepted with much gratitude on her behalf, however, I knew what would happen; it was dismissed with a derisory snort after a few seconds tolerating being placed inside it on the bed. She sloped off for a sulk behind the bed in the back room for a few hours. Dippi and Wills adore it, if they both could fit into it they would! They don’t. It’s not big enough for two cats so they each wait eagerly for the other to venture out then the other one hops straight into it. It’s a sort of hot-podding for pussies!! The cat-crib never gets cold, but does need bits of garden and assorted small bits of dead wildlife picking out of it on a daily basis.

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