Articles

Hi everyone

I have just had a conversation with Casey and Gibbs, and they have asked me to write about the type of humans who are the "Greater Spotted Job Hunter" breed for their Human Mockumentary. I can only write about my own human (Mum), of course; there may be a lot of them around (or not if Government "statistics" are to be believed).

Anyway - the Job Hunter! A strange type of human; around the house all day, but still working hard. They spend the majority of their time on a computer or laptop anxiously going through something called "email alerts". I have seen them when I have been sitting near the laptop - lots and lots of lists of different jobs that need doing (sometimes over a weekend 50 or more emails can build up and all of them have to be searched through). Sometimes Mum will say "hmm, this looks possible" and she opens it up to find out more information on it. A funny stick like object gets inserted into the laptop and Mum searches through some more lists for something called a CV which explains what she has been up to in the past, plus she types a nice letter to go with it. That then gets sent off to whomever placed the advert. Most times though, Mum will sigh and say, "oh no, needs more experience" and goes on to the next entry. That puzzled me a bit - Mum has some good experience, but apparently some people need more specific experience that Mum hasn't got - and when you have over 100 of these CV thingies to go through, I guess you can be a bit choosy (Mum says that is very roughly how many of these Job Hunter humans are chasing each of these job thingies, so it's very competitive).

Job Hunters tend to congregate together in a place called a "Job Centre" - it seems to be a depressing place where they go to meet someone who is making sure they are working hard at finding a job; they read a special online diary that Mum has to keep updated daily with what she is doing. Mum always goes out looking worried and comes back looking relieved. I don't know why she is always so worried about going there - when you have applied for over 80 jobs in 3 and a half months, they can hardly say you're not working hard at it, can they?

Sometimes, the Job Hunter undergoes a transformation! Like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly, some very smart clothes will be put on. This is always accompanied by a lot of nerves and some extra time on the laptop beforepaw, doing some "research" on one of these companies. Mum will go out looking nervous. On her return, the reverse transformation happens immediately with a sigh and the words "they will let me know" mentioned. And you know what friends? They hardly ever do! There seems to be a lot of this, and I think it's a shame - if the Job Hunter has gone to one of these appointments (called an "interview") and made the effort, I think the least they can do is tell her the result. 

I have also had the pleasure of seeing the Job Hunter change into the Employed Human - this happened just under 3 years ago. Mum went to one of these interview thingies, came back looking miserable - they had said her qualifications weren't good enough. Well, blow me down with catnip - a couple of weeks later, Mum got the job thingy offered. This is the best transformation of the lot - suddenly overnight the Job Hunter's whole attitude changes; anxiety seems to magically disappear, the last visit to the Job Centre is made and this is then replaced with worries about the new job. This transformation happens quickly and lasts for variable amounts of time - just over 2 years in this instance before "redundancy" kicked the whole cycle off again, but I have found out that in my Mum's case, it has lasted nearly 16 years in the past. 

As for me, I do what I can to help; lots of nuzzles and reassuring purrs, plus walking over the keyboard so she knows what time it is (when it's time for dinner). And there is a benefit; to help save money, there is a bigger bag of food in the cupboard which lasts longer, and I have lost 200 grams in weight with Mum being really careful at measuring it. 

But I hope my Job Hunter turns Employed soon - it isn't really much fun when they are so miserable and anxious (and trying to hide it). I will let you all know what happens. 

Denver. 

(Imagine Denver speaking like David Attenborough!)

Early May:

An update for the Mockumentary! I'm so pleased to tell you all that my Mum has just transformed from the Job Hunter to an Employed. 

It's a bit different though - she won't be an Employed for long this time, as it is a temporary summer job helping out in the office of a local charity. And even then, it won't be all week, just part time. But she is pleased - she says it will "keep the wolf from the door" for a bit longer. I thought he was busy with the 3 Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood and the others? Anyway, she is pleased (even if she now says the butterflies are starting up again).