After living in a world of matrimonial harmony and extended family gatherings, that world changed forever with Evelyn's death on May 8, 1997. We were married two weeks short of 39 years. The extended family gatherings, after her passing, due in part to misunderstanding and some selfishness by various family members, were no longer to be.
About the only constant we know of today, is life, birth and death. This applies to all living creatures, human, animal and insect.
Even my sadness, loneliness, and the empty and quiet house changed for the better six months after Evelyn's passing. Through a mutual friend, I adopted two cats. These animals in their loving way helped change many things for me; though in no way could they ever replace my wife of 39 years in my heart or home. Her touch is in every room of the house.
I do not live with a ghost. Nor do I bemoan her passing. We, as humans, have to accept these things. Especially if your marriage was a happy and respectful one, you tend to feel that loss in many ways is foreign to you.
My two adopted cats each about 5 months old, were my salvation to living a widower’s life for the years I had left. Their entry into my life and home changed a perspective that was filled with gloom and the problem of unsolvable loneliness.
I could easily have found another woman. Not wishing to go that route, the cats would tend to fill many of the niches left bare with Evelyn's death.
May 2004 makes 7 years since her passing and about 6 ½ years since Frankie the Calico and Johnnie the Tabby were adopted. Next to marrying Evelyn, to this point, it was the second best move of my life.
I had something to care for, and to make my house once more a home; a family merged in mutual love. No longer did I have to close the door of a home devoid of need and emptiness.
The Calico and Tabby taught me much about need and care, though I had been everything to Evelyn during the years of her illness. I was programmed to give myself over to the care of someone needing my devotion, love, and feeling of total compassion with understanding.
In short, I also learned about giving care and love to something other than a human being; felines. I learned everything we send into their lives comes back into our own. Their love is undiluted and unrestrictive. It is given without thought of return.
I changed their world . . . they changed mine.
Dan M Weiss