The cat is a very dignified creature deserving of a name that befits its higher status of greater being than us mere lowly humans. Calling out 'Dipstick' in the middle of the night is asking for trouble ...

In Egyptian times the cat was a revered member of the Pharaoh household and given high status. If a cat was killed, the perpetrator was sentenced to death immediately. The cat was mummified and in the tomb placed alongside it were the items necessary for its onward journey into the hereafter. The household went into a period of mourning and this was shown by everyone shaving their eyebrows as a mark of respect.

Cats still remember this and even the humble moggie will sometimes carry himself with an air of aloofness and have an disdainful expression as if eating off a cracked saucer was far too disgusting to contemplate.

The cat is a very dignified creature and as such, great thought should be given to its name. A cat will lose all street credibility if called by an inappropriate (to the cat) name and will spend its years skulking around the house only going out at night wearing dark glasses.

What, then, is an appropriate name for a cat? Well, just because a cat may be black all over doesn’t make him ‘Lucky’ or ‘Sooty’ or ‘Blackie’. Likewise if he is white all over doesn’t mean he has to be called ‘Snowy’ or clever names like ‘Blanco’. And just because he is sporting four white paws doesn’t mean he is crying out to be called ‘Sox’.

Think about YOUR street credibility when you are calling ‘Dipstick’ late at night to get your errant cat (wearing its dark glasses!) in for the night and the newly single next door neighbour saunters by and gives you a look of disgust. How will you explain to your partner why the police suddenly turned up and wanted to take you off to spend a night in the cells to ‘cool down’?

Think about when you have to take your cat to the vet’s surgery and the Vet calls out: ‘Fatso’! Whilst he could be forgiven for such an outburst if he suffered with Tourette’s Syndrome, everyone who is a smidgen overweight will automatically suck in their stomachs and vow to join the local Weight Watcher's club the following morning. As you take your inappropriately named cat (hiding in a trench coat and trilby hat in the furthermost corners of its carrier) the people in the waiting room will glare malevolently at your retreating back, whereas the patients themselves will fall about laughing at poor Fatso.

You can see, therefore, how important it is to spend some time thinking about your cat’s name before actually naming him on a whim because it sounds hysterically funny - cats can live a very long time and they can be very unforgiving.

If you would like to get an idea of names to choose for your cat, then look here now and be guided by the FIRST Garfield.

© Pauline Dewberry 2002

Dogs Come when Called

"Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you."

"Of course, every cat is really the most beautiful woman in the room."

Edward Verrall Luca (essayist)

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