10. You saw him on "Dr. Phil"

9. Wasted three of nine lives on George Foreman Grill mishaps

8. When you stroke his belly, he purrs, "moooo!"

7. The dog is missing and you found a ransom note spelled out in yarn



6. Was caught sharing bag of catnip with Whitney Houston's cat

5. That toy he's playing with is grandpa's ear!

4. Calls sports talk radio claiming Knicks are about to turn it around

3. Firemen are trying to coax you out of a tree

2. Believes Barry Bonds never used steroids

1. He neutered himself

 

submitted by Caroline Clark, North Carolina, USA

A Cats Prayer

Lead me down all the right paths,
Keep me from fleas, bees, and baths.
Let me in should it storm,
Keep me safe, fed, and warm.

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