Warm greetings to you all my feline friends (and assorted humans).  I feel I owe you all an apology, I haven’t put paw to laptop for many weeks now.   Although I am an expert typist I need Staff to switch the machine on for me because, try as I might, I’ve never mastered the art of plugging something in.  So it’s all her fault.

Squirt in the best chair

I’d better explain and bring you up to date on what’s been happening.  They say change is a good thing.  But you can have too much of a ‘good thing’, right?

Well, guess what.

We’ve moved house.


Back in June my sensors and antennae began to tell me things were about to change.  In my last Mewsletter I told you something of my life as a farm cat, after eighteen months I was really feeling quite settled there, but then the packing started.  I really don’t know what the hell is wrong with Staff – can’t we stay anywhere for more than five minutes?  This is the third house move I’ve gone through so I knew I would cope and we always seem to be lucky enough to live in nice places.  I did worry though.  Would the cows be properly looked after without my supervision?  Who would count the tractors every morning?   Was the yard at risk from thieves without my nightly vigilance?

By mid-July the packing was complete.  The dogs were in the car, I was in my travelling box and we were leaving my beloved farm.  I expressed my displeasure by having the mother of all dumps halfway through the journey.  The retching noises from driver and passenger were truly satisfying although I felt a bit sorry for the dogs who also suffered the full force of my rancid stink.

Fast forward a few weeks….what’s the new home like?  Bloody fantastic!  The best place in the world and I hope we stay here forever and ever.

My friends, dear readers, my status in the world is confirmed; I have gone from Farm Cat to Lord of the Manor.  Our new home is on a country estate in a beautiful Aberdeenshire valley.  There are two houses here - one is very large, occupied by a big family, the other house is Staff’s mine and it’s the largest home I’ve ever lived in.  The living room is fourteen trots by twenty one and the hall is thirty three trots long, so there’s lots of space for the dogs and me to run round in.

I was kept inside for four days to settle a bit and get my bearings, then Staff unlocked the cat flap and let me go outside.  This was the moment I’d been waiting for!  Without a hint of trepidation I was off.  Where to go first?  Within ten minutes I was on the house roof surveying my new domain.  We have gardens on three sides so I clambered down and went to explore.  What a fabulous place for a cat!  Shrubs, borders, trees and a high garden wall from which to watch over my new kingdom.  One of the best things now is that Staff and Manstaff go to this thing called ‘work’ right next door to us in the big house and gardens, so they are often nearby to pass the time of day with.  Apparently Staff is something called a ‘housekeeper’, well I hope she keeps this house and that we stay here for many, many years because it’s a lovely place.  My only regret is that Mother isn’t here to share it with me, she would adore living here but alas she is still missing.    Three months is a long time to be away from home and family but I remain positive and hopeful that she is found and returned to us. 

Meanwhile I’ve continued to explore and get to know my new surroundings.  We live on a hillside, surrounded on three sides by woods and opposite there are fields and a burn (that’s a stream for all you non-Scots out there).  To my delight the fields are full of cows!  And the best thing of all is that I have my very own tractor, a big shiny green one that Manstaff drives when I’m not using it as a sun lounge.  Inside the house is nice too and a step up from where we used to live!  There are more best chairs than one cat can possibly use in a day and I have three entrances – the cat flap (no thank you), the living room window and the front door (now you’re talking!).  There are plenty of sheds and buildings outside, and in the living room is a huge wood burning stove so I’m confident that in the winter I shall be perfectly comfortable indoors or out.  What more could a cat possibly need?

Oh yes, I’m definitely going to be happy living here, there really is no place like home.

Your friend and Scottish correspondent,


You can find me on Twitter @SquirtTheCat






A Cats Purr

"Cats make one of the most satisfying sounds in the world: they purr ...

A purring cat is a form of high praise, like a gold star on a test paper. It is reinforcement of something we would all like to believe about ourselves - that we are nice."

Roger A Caras

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