Lucy1.  I resolve to be a kinder, gentler soul who sees beauty in all God’s creatures. Barring that, I resolve to think slightly better of the neighbour’s stupid Doberman.

2.  I resolve to work on my obsessive-compulsive tendencies and bathe only 8 times a day instead of my usual 24.

3.  I will not torment the family fish by frantically waving my paw in the tank.

4.  I will not lie to my owner about whether my paw was in the fish tank or if it accidentally just got wet in my water dish.

5.  I will not brag when I win yet another stare-down contest with my owner. (I am the champion!)

6.  I will not scarf down my food so fast that I have to throw up a mere ten minutes after eating.

7.  I resolve to let my owners sleep an extra ten minutes each morning before I start meowing. (However, if they are unable to sleep with me sitting on top of their chests while staring intently — yet silently — into their face, that’s not my problem.)

8.  In the interest of fairness, I will give a small cough or clearing of the throat a split second before I pounce on the ____________ [mail carrier / kitten / family dog / cotton mouse / kibble].

9.  This is the year I kick the catnip habit!

10.  I resolve to stay awake for at least 5 hours a day, lest life pass me by.


Dogs Come when Called

"Dogs come when called. Cats take a message and get back to you."

"Of course, every cat is really the most beautiful woman in the room."

Edward Verrall Luca (essayist)

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