I’m Dumpty Roo, a very regal Himalayan Lynx, and faded film star - (I once starred in a cat food advert!)
When I chose to live with Maid, I came with very a refined palate and extremely exacting standards, standards of which, after many years, she still falls woefully short.
However, when it comes to cuisine, Maid is absolutely spot on in purchasing Gourmet for me. The delicate menus which have been perfectly created with my dietary requirements in mind, leave me salivating when I am in the kitchen supervising Maid as she prepares my meals. I can hear a sachet being opened from two rooms away and I look forward to the fine feast which is about to be laid out for me. No matter how deeply I am snoozing on the bed on my designer duvet, the tearing of a sachet will guarantee within minutes, I am padding into the kitchen to dine.
The range, the succulent ingredients, the mouth wateringly delicious textures ensure that each mealtime is as sumptuous and tasty as the last.
However, whilst I expect the very pinnacle of cuisine, at 15 years old, my taste buds can get a little jaded with age. When Maid has served my finest of food on my Wedgwood plate sometimes I lick all the fabulous flavoured juice up then leave the meaty chunks for my housemate, Chav Cat to eat …… I know that I am nothing but selfless.
Maid, to her credit is always on the ball when Gourmet have new products. She was the first to rush out and purchase Mon Petit Petit Duo in the new flavours; Salmon with Chicken and Trout with Turkey in tasty snack sized pouches - delish!! Just the right size for a tasty snack when I can’t quite manage a full sized portion.
On Christmas Day, I only dine on Gold Pate with turkey. One has traditions to uphold.
Today my Maid has excelled herself. I noticed a letter from Gourmet, endorsed by my hero; Archie, detailing the launch of new products. My whiskers tingled with anticipation.
Soups, for cats!! How totally fabulous.
I shamelessly escorted Maid to the kitchen then flaunted my silky fur round her bare ankles as I curled my fluffy tail appealingly round her legs, seducing her into opening one of these tempting sachets for me. I mewled pitifully.
Result!! Maid carefully opened a sachet of Classic Chicken Soup and gently poured the delightful contents onto my special plate then offered it to me.
I sniffed. Ambrosia from Heaven curled slowly up into my nostrils. I sniffed again, I wanted this exquisite moment to last. Then slowly I dipped my head and indulged ..... Just indulged in the wonderful taste sensation and texture and I lapped up then rolled the soup round my mouth. I was delighted that such an incredible meal had been lovingly composed especially for me. The portion size was just perfect to sate my delicate appetite. However, I was so enthusiastic, I nearly licked the glaze off the plate! How unladylike of me!
Later that day I noticed that my cat food basket has a new addition. Gourmet Gold Savoury Cakes. I was rather excited when Maid opened one, then spooned it out onto my plate for my perusal. The aroma was just delectable and I had soon consumed the lot. Ten out of ten and my compliments to the chefs, supervised by Archie, in the Gourmet Kitchens. It was a gastronomic experience par excellence!
I cannot wait for Maid to go out and replenish my supplies of range of Exquisitely Fine Cuisine and I am also comforted by the fact that they are so reasonably priced, so Maid can spend any leftover change and spoil herself on human catnip – red wine or chocolates!
All the very best
Dumpty Roo
Reclining on my designer duvet on Maid's bed, awaiting my next epicurean dining experience.
"Cats make one of the most satisfying sounds in the world: they purr ...
A purring cat is a form of high praise, like a gold star on a test paper. It is reinforcement of something we would all like to believe about ourselves - that we are nice."
Roger A Caras